You Don’t Have to Change to Be Loved No comments yet
Most people are so busy to make improvements that they don’t notice that they stepped out of heaven. - Byron Katie
Listening to Byron Katie’s book ‘I Need Your Love - Is That True?” I was reminded of the great paradox, the one that can be so hard to accept: Life isn’t perfect, you are not perfect … and that’s perfect.
You don’t need to change. Pain comes from thinking that you should be different, that things should not be the way they are. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to improve to be your best self.
Start here: Nothing has to change. You are alright now and so is your life.
Relax. Take a deep breath. Enjoy yourself. You are perfect with all your flaws, imperfections, and obsessions.
In her book, Byron Katie says that the quest for finding approval and appreciation from others is what consumes most people all day and every day. It sets in motion hundreds of strategies to win favor, and admiration, or just to please. It’s a constant monitoring to see if we are gaining or losing ground in the approval sweepstakes.
What a strange thing. We put our power and self-love into the hands of others and buy into the idea that unless people approve of us we are worthless. And so we think that we have to change to be loved. The irony is that the struggle to win love makes it very difficult to experience it.
Start having enjoyable conversations with yourself. Laugh about your obsessions and let yourself be amused by your worries and fears. Life is here to support you, it want’s to work out. Start to understand that your imperfections are perfect and so are the imperfections of the people around you.
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Photo Source: lepiaf.geo via Flickr under a Creative Commons License
