The world is changing all around us at an amazing pace. The internet has made it possible for almost everyone to tune into the global consciousness and, in my belief, this is creating an enormous spiritual shift as well. There is a big craving for personal enlightenment and well being.
On the business level more people than ever are going out on their own, creating enterprises that reflect their inner most values, designed to make a real contribution to the world. Entrepreneurship affects the business world in an interesting way, transforming it from competing and fighting for money to collaborating and sharing money.
While all this is happening, each one of us is called to step up to the plate and turn into the incredible human being we really are. In part this has to do with cleaning up our act, developing new patterns of behavior and letting go of old, negative thoughts and belief structures.
In my last post I talked about three unproductive life habits (Pessimism, Misleading and Complaining) and how to change them into more positive ones. Today’s post is about quitting, trying to be superwoman and spoiling the game.
Superwoman - For the longest time women believed we had to behave like men to make it in the business world. While this has led to advancement in the work force, it has also isolated us and created a sense of competition among women that is not healthy for the feminine spirit.
If you have a hard time asking for help and engage in the ‘I can do it all myself’ attitude, it may be time for you to give in a little and allow others to be there for you, too. Collaboration is a feminine trait and spending (quality) time with other women keeps us happy and strong.
Quitting - Have you ever been on a team that is going full speed and all of a sudden one of the players decided to stop? It spoils the fun for everybody and it breaks trust.
I often observe that women quit when what they really need is to take a break. If you have a hard time following through on your projects, cancel appointments often and back out of commitments, take an honest look: Are you overextending yourself and setting your goals to high? If you go back on your word continuously, people will lose faith in you. Notice the pattern and make a point to follow through. This also means that you get more selective about your agreements.
Spoiling the Game - There are different ways to play this game, from seeing obstacles everywhere and being overly pessimistic to plain out sabotage. In a world where only the fittest survive, this can be a resource for some people to get their way. If you notice that you have a hard time allowing others to succeed and get overly jealous, spoiling the game may be your way of making sure nobody wins.
One of the best ways of changing this pattern is to make sure that you get what you need. Not by sabotaging others but by finding out what it is you love doing and going after it with all you’ve got. Focus on your own well-being and stop comparing yourself to others. Notice when you engage in negative or destructive thinking and consciously switch to a more positive and cooperative behavior. Make sure you have fun and don’t compromise on your goals. Set them high and meet them! You are special and unique in your own way and you can get what you need to be happy while others do the same.
In the next post I am going to talk about playing the nice game, always running late and being a know-it-all. Stay tuned and as always, let me know your observations!
Ever since I posted about the issue of control, games and unproductive life habits, I have been observing them everywhere! Replacing ineffective patterns with more productive ones is key if you want to lead a happy life or run an attractive and successful entrepreneurial business. While unproductive life habits disconnect and alienate us from the people around us, positive ones create attraction, charisma, connection and happiness.
As with everything, awareness is the first step in recognizing and changing the way you operate in the world. In this and the following posts I am going to address and describe some of the patterns, or games, I have observed. Maybe you recognize one or two and realize ways to change them.
Why do we play games in the first place? Well, let’s imagine you are a little kid and you are out shopping with your mom. Naturally you will ask for something, maybe a candy, an ice cream bar or a toy. It’s all right there in front of you! Maybe your mother was one to grant you all your wishes but chances are, she wasn’t. So, you ask again, and again and, depending on your nature (or role model), you’ll pout, fuzz or whine a little, anything to get her attention. Mom starts to feel bad. She wants you to stop. Just to have her peace, she buys you what you want and Wham, what started as a little tantrum in the store turns into a life long habit! From now on you’ll use this little trick to get your way. The sad part is, in the end it does not get you what you really want.
Misleading - My 9-year old daughter came home upset from school the other day: “Some kids never turn in their homework!” she said. “It’s always the same ones that ‘lose’ or ‘forget’ their assignments and I think it isn’t fair!”
Misleading is a habit that creeps in slowly and may go unnoticed for a long time. Observe yourself, do you use white lies to get your way? Do you think telling the truth will turn people off or get you into trouble? If you bend the truth here and there, have the courage to stop. It may seem outrageous or scary at the beginning but once you learn it, you will notice you can get what you want by telling the truth and asking for it.
Whining / Complaining - Ooh, don’t we all know this one? Do you like to complain about the injustices of the world? Did life deal you a bad card and you can’t stop talking about it? This habit comes with a very distinct, whiny tone of voice. If you realize that you complain a lot, start replacing it with acknowledgment, appreciation and gratitude. Instead of whining about a situation, find a way to appreciate it. Start a gratitude journal and consciously develop the habit of appreciating your life, loving what is instead of complaining about what isn’t.
Pessimism, or, Life Is No Walk in The Park - Do you have the tendency to look at life from a pessimistic point of view? Do you consider yourself a realist and find it hard to believe in good luck, ease and pleasure? If that is the case, it may be time to give yourself a break and to cheer up a bit. While life may not be fair, being hard on yourself and others does not help. If you don’t know how to be more optimistic, fake it till you make it! Be cheerful and smile, take some time to relax, engage in things that you consider ’silly’ or ‘a waste of time’. You don’t believe this will work? It does, I tried it.
In the next post I am going to talk about quitting, spoiling the game and superman or super woman. Stay tuned and as always, let me know your observations!
Tune in to another episode of Coach TV LA and get life coaching live! In today’s show I am interviewing Phillip Hubler, a former music teacher who wants to go out on his own and start a business around movies, entertainment and music.
Click below to follow the coaching interview recorded on May 12, 2009 in Palm Springs.
Enjoy!
If you have trouble viewing above video, go to my coaching channel, Coach TV LA, to see the original show.
“All of the drama humans suffer is the result of believing in lies, mainly about ourselves. The first lie we believe in is I am not: I am not the way I should be, I am not perfect. The truth is that every human is born perfect because only perfection exists.”
The world is changing all around us at an amazing pace. The internet has made it possible for almost everyone to tune into the global consciousness and, in my belief, this is creating an enormous spiritual shift as well. There is a big craving for personal enlightenment and well being.
