Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. -Steve Jobs
I have observed this many times: Whenever the topic of relationship comes up in a conversation, people change. They become quiet, lean in and get deeply interested.
While at a party some time ago I talked to one of the guests about what I do. “Seminars on relationships? That sounds interesting!” He was immediately engaged and drew a little closer. “I have two women in my life. But I think I am going to break up with one. She is too old for me and I think we want different things in life.” “Hm,” I said, “interesting.” He looked a little sad.
“The other one is really young. We are having fun but it’s really nothing long-term. We don’t have so much to talk about.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I know,” I said, “Communication is really important. It’s good to be able to talk to each other”. His whole face changed when I said that. He looked more excited and engaged. “That’s true! That’s what I like about the other woman. It’s fun to talk to her and I really enjoy her company. She makes me feel good. She is kind and gentle and at the same time smart.” He got really enthusiastic.
“Why are you breaking up with her?” I asked him, “You seem to really like her.” He thought for a moment. “Well, I don’t think we are a good match. She is at a different point in her life and I think we want different things in the future.” “You know,” I said “when you talk about her you get very excited and it seems as if you really enjoy her company. Do you really want to give that up so easily? Why not enjoy the time you have with her now. If, in the future, you really find out that you want to go different directions you can still decide then. Or, you may even be able to design a lifestyle that works for both of you.” “Hm,” he said “You think so? Maybe you are right.” He looked a bit surprised.
A few months later I ran into him again. “You won’t believe it,” he said, “But I got engaged!” “Wow,” I said, “Who is the lucky lady?” He told me that our conversation had really helped him to look at things in a different way. “I decided not to see the younger girlfriend anymore. She and I did not have much in common and I have to tell you, my other relationship is just amazing! I am so blessed.” He sounded very happy.
Most conflicts exist in our minds. We think life should be a certain way instead of paying attention to what we really want and what actually works for us. If you stay open and give in to exploring what is fun and inspiring, you may find out that it is very different from what you think it should be!
Guest post by Nina Grenningloh, Journalist, PR Specialist and owner of Grennimedia.
Over the past 10 years, I have worked a number of great and not so great jobs. All of them in the media industry – I was a news producer, a PR account executive, a translator, a writer, a marketing manager. Sounds great, you might think? Well, let me be honest. While I enjoyed my jobs for the most part, again and again I was confronted with a particular question that seemed to become my best friend over the course of my career: Why so many different jobs? And, which job do you finally want to settle on?
At one point, not too long ago, my best friend – the question – took over. I found myself surrounded by my many jobs “begging me” to pick one of them. However, I was unable to make a decision because I liked a bit of every work. I knew that if I let go of some of the responsibilities, I would end up missing them; however, if I continued to try and pursue my bunch of jobs, I was likely to go down in chaos.
Around that time, I started reading Jonathan Fields’ Career Renegade. In his book, Fields gives career advice that is not only practical, but most of all motivational. The book differs from other writings in this genre in that Fields tells his personal story and also gives hands-on examples from other professionals who have succeeded in “making a great living doing what they love”. Reading just the first few chapters of the book, let alone all 269 pages, has been an eye-opening experience.
In four parts, Fields takes the reader on a step-by-step journey to discover his secret passion and to show him ways on how to turn his passion into a money making enterprise. At the end of the book, Fields motivates everyone who takes the career renegade path to be one’s own guru.
What I think is great about Career Renegade is that Fields keeps it real. After I had fully absorbed his self-help career guidance, I instantly began straightening out my complex job situation. I have started writing a blog, and I have begun figuring out how I can apply the career renegade paths that the author suggests to my own life.
Frankly, I am nowhere near the point where I can say I have it all worked out. But I already do see a difference in perspective. My formerly best friend – the question – has made way for a new pal of mine: the challenge. What if I don’t need to settle on one single job? What if I “just” have to work on shifting some priorities until I enter a junction that will bring paths - that once seemed incompatible - together? I’m not saying it’s going to be easy; and neither does Jonathan Fields. In fact, in chapter 21 of his book Fields says: “Creating your life and livelihood to deliver maximum passion and prosperity is a gargantuan challenge. But, it’s one worth engaging in.”
I am one to catch on late to trends and news. It took me a whole week to find out about the now legendary Susan Boyle and her performance on Britain’s Got Talent. More than 35 million people have watched the video on YouTube during this past week, more than 20 million in the first 48 hours alone, making it the biggest video in YouTube history!
As I mentioned in my post about American Idol’s Adam Lambert, I wholeheartedly believe that rather than seeing others fail, we want to see them succeed! We want to be part of their rags to riches stories and their dream come true moment. I also believe that above all, we want to see our own dreams come true. We want to be stars in or own right, and, why not?
In his excellent article What Sells Better: Hope, Fear or Susan Boyle, Jonathan Fields, author of Career Renegade: How To Make A Living Doing What You Love, makes some interesting points. He says that many of today’s sales strategies are based on the fact that fear motivates people to buy. But what about the aspect of our hopes and dreams? Aren’t they a far greater inspiration to buy something? If I see you do it, doesn’t it encourage me to try it, too?
We are in the middle of a huge transition! The old economy which has been based on fear, greed, competition, fighting for money, scarcity and exploitation is giving way to a new economy based on collaboration, service, playing for money, abundance and trust. In this economy we can all win. We can do what we love for a living, helping others to do the same. In this economy everybody succeeds and everybody can be a star. I like that!
You probably know the saying “Do what you love and the money will follow”? Well, it is only half the truth in my experience. There is still the whole part of ‘doing business’ that needs to be figured out but that’s for another post. Today I want to talk about ‘doing what you want so your life can follow’.
A few years ago I found myself at a dead end. I had discovered what I loved doing and the money was not following. As a matter of fact, the harder I tried, the more it went away. I had lost my job, I was broke and I had two kids to feed. I told myself that losing my job was probably a blessing since now I could dedicate myself to my passion 100%. I was making one hundred cold calls a day to no or little avail and was growing more and more desperate. What was the missing ingredient?
If you have seen the movie Kung Fu Panda you may guess the answer. Back then I had no answers; I just gave up trying and began doing nothing. Or better, I only did what I really wanted to do. My logic was this “If I didn’t get any results working hard all day, why not at least have a good time failing.”
What followed was astonishing! First, I slept, I slept a lot. As long as I was tired, I would not get up. I was determined to only do what was effortless. If getting up was hard, I wasn’t getting up. Next, I watched movies. I really got into it. While other people went to work, I was watching the movies I had wanted to see for years. After that I spent a lot of time at coffee houses, enjoying myself and watching people.
Don’t get me wrong, I did what I wanted but it wasn’t easy. It was scary and it felt wrong. There was this constant voice in my head saying “Wrong, wrong, wrong! That’s not how it works!”. And then there was this other part of me that I had not known before and it would just not give in.
After a few days, or maybe weeks, several things happened. I realized that the world was not caving in on me and I relaxed. It was an amazing experience! All the fear went away, the fear of not having control, the fear of being controlled, the fear of failing, of not failing, of having money or not having money, and all of a sudden it seemed that the whole world was available for me to play in.
I got curious. How did I want to live my life? What did I really want to do and how? I knew I loved working with people, but did I really want to make 100 cold calls every day? Did I want to push hard and build a big business or was it something more simple and gentle? At that point everything was possible.
I did not know it at the time, but during those days I learned to trust myself. I found my own timing, my rhythm, and started to follow the flow to my life. I became the conductor of my own music.
In the beginning it felt uncomfortable letting go of old habits and beliefs but over time it became easier. I realized which activities gave me energy and which ones didn’t. Perception and awareness helped me in following my heart rather than my head in making sound decisions. Life became effortless and light. Instead of making 100 calls to get two appointments I made 20 calls and got 10. Money started to come in with more ease than ever before. I surrendered to my life and found my bliss.
I also discovered that I do like to get up early in the morning - except for the days when I don’t.
Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. -Steve Jobs
