The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. -Paul Valery
In chaos theory the term Butterfly Effect is used to demonstrate the idea that one butterfly could eventually have a far-reaching ripple effect on subsequent events: For example, the flap of a seagull’s wing in Brazil could cause a tornado in Texas.
What a fascinating theory! It makes me wonder how much every one of my actions today, down to the most minuscule one, will impact my life, the lives of others, and the planet in the future?
I read an article recently about a massive underground water source, the Ogallala Aquifer, which is disappearing fast. Scientists say that if drained, it would take 6,000 years to refill naturally. This water reservoir serves eight states from South Dakota to Texas and, according to the article, farmers were “blissfully unaware” a generation ago that the dilemma was unfolding. -Scientific American
The question is, how blissfully unaware are we about where we are heading? If one flap of a seagull’s wing can set off a tornado, how will the little argument I had with my partner shape our relationship down the road, or, what impact has what I eat today on my health in one, two or five years?
I have heard people say: ‘We are all doing the best we can’, or, ‘Everything is perfect the way it is’ and I have to say, I don’t agree one bit! I believe we all have the opportunity to better ourselves and our lives every minute. Whether we do this or not is up to us. We decide whether or not we smoke, yell at our kids or treat our partners poorly. The life we chose to live, however, will have an impact on all of us.
It takes courage, education and discipline to make the very best choices every day and, in my opinion, it is what makes life worth living!
Picture source: Joel Olivers
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How To Find A Man Series
Let’s talk about men today, shall we? What is it that men like in women? What are they attracted to?
Let me give you the good news first: Men already love women! Women are fascinating. They are mesmerizing, mystifying, enchanting and yes, also utterly confusing! What exactly is it that makes women so interesting?
Two things: Number one our sexuality, of course! It’s the shape of a woman’s body, the flow of our hair, our smile, the way we walk and move our hips. If a man is attracted sexually, that’s all there is. He is probably not interested in getting to know you better, call you the next day (Yes, this is the bad news!), or start a relationship with you. Unless there is something else involved that makes him also interested in you in a “romantic” way.
When a man is romantically attracted to a woman he wants to do things for her. He wants to protect you, provide for you, win battles and bring home trophies. He wants to be your hero. Remember the story where Tom Sawyer tries to get Becky’s attention? He walks on his hands in front of her window and does somersaults to impress her. He wants her to admire him and acknowledge his brilliance. He wants her attention! What in Becky was it that attracted him? She was sincere, a bit shy and courageous. She was herself and did not try to please him. He felt he could really help her and protect her.
Or take Jack Nickolson’s famous line in “As Good As It Gets”: “You make me want to be a better man”. What did Helen Hunt’s character do that made him say that? What was it that made her so attractive? It was for sure not the way she dressed! She was natural and unpretentious. She was honest towards him without making him wrong. She served him without trying to please him. She did not care and she showed her true colors.
Of course different men will be attracted by different qualities but what every man wants, is to feel great when he is around you. Men are attracted to women who are self confident and happy with themselves. They are inspired by women who are naturally enthusiastic and friendly and who are interested in them. Has it ever happened to you that you really fell for a man and in the process you changed the way you interacted with him? All of a sudden you became more self conscious, insecure, timid or girlish? Putting on an act does not attracted a man in a way that he wants to connect with you long-term. He may pursue you for sexual reasons, if that’s the type of man he is. Others will just stay away. They get the feeling that something isn’t right and they cannot build trust.
Note: Some men can get very seductive if they really just want to connect on the sexual level. Make sure that that is what you want also and don’t expect more from the connection.
If men are interested in women who are playful, interested, passionate and true to themselves, what does that leave you with? Isn’t it a relief to know that you don’t have to be someone you are not to be attractive? There is a lot of freedom in being who you are. Maybe it’s time to find out what it is you love and what you are passionate about? Or maybe it’s time to relax and stop worrying about finding the perfect partner and instead focus on what it is you love doing? In the process you may just attract a great man.
Quick Recap
Attraction
Sexual
- Body shape
- Movement
- Laugh
- Shiny hair
Romantic
- Self confidence
- Passion
- Interest in him / in men
- Attention, affection
- Happiness
- Receptivity
Photo source: Daniele Butera
You may have noticed that many of my latest posts have been about relationships. It’s something I love talking about and it’s also something I see so many people, men and women, struggle with. This post is part of the ‘How To Find A Man’ series. If you have questions on the topic or about relationships in general, please email them to karin@karinmanske.com or post them in your comments. Thank you!
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I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.
Rabindranath Tagore
Rabindranath Tagore (7 May 1861 – 7 August 1941), was a Bengali mystic, poet, visual artist, playwright, novelist, and composer whose works reshaped Bengali literature and music in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. He became Asia’s first Nobel laureate when he won the 1913 Nobel Prize in Literature.
Tagore first wrote poems at the age of eight. At the age of sixteen, he published his first substantial poetry under the pseudonym Bhanushingho (”Sun Lion”) and wrote his first short stories and dramas in 1877. In later life Tagore protested strongly against the British Raj and gave his support to the Indian Independence Movement. Tagore’s life work endures, in the form of his poetry and the institution he founded, Visva-Bharati University. (Source: wikipedia.com)
More on Rabindranath Tagore:
Tagore’s biography on nobelprize.org
Tagore and his India on nobelprize.org
A selection of his books:
Sadhana: The Realization of Life
The Tagore Reader: Gitanjali, Songs of Kabîr, Thought Relics, Sadhana: The Realization of Life, Stray Birds, The Home and the World
Gitanjali
The Crescent Moon
The Heart of God: Prayers by Rabindranath Tagore
Rabindranath Tagore: An Anthology
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“Talk low, talk slow and don’t say too much.” -John Wayne
It hasn’t been until the last 15 years that modern technology and sophisticated research has allowed scientist to observe and prove how men and women brains work differently. While in the 70s and the 80s men and women tried to be equal, which really meant “the same”, the focus has shifted to “equal, but different”! While researchers are making the most amazing discoveries, many people are still completely unaware of these facts.
The differences are quite shocking. Most of us have noticed that men and women ’speak a different language’. Now scientists are providing the evidence. Not only do we feel differently, we also listen, think, observe, process information and approach problem solving from completely different angles! What impact will this information have on our lives? For most people this comes as a big relief. It’s nobody’s fault that we have such a hard time getting along. We really are just different!
For Example:
Men and women listen differently. Women engage in the process. They nod their heads or vocalize to show that they follow the conversation. Men pay attention quietly. They sit still and absorb the information without demonstrating that they understand. I first noticed this when leading a seminar for an all male audience. I conducted my class the same way I would normally present it to women. A little while into the seminar I started getting nervous. Something wasn’t quite right! My students were just sitting there staring at me. “Maybe they don’t understand my point?”, I thought. “Or, maybe they don’t agree with what I am saying?” So I asked: “Are you following me so far?” Everybody nodded and I relaxed. Teaching this first class for men was a stressful experience. Little did I know that it was just the difference in how men and women absorb information!
A Few Facts:
Male and female brains are built differently. While men access each part of the brain for specific tasks separately, women access both parts of the brain for lot’s of things. For example: when men use language, the right side of the brain is active. When women speak, they access both hemispheres of the brain at the same time. This is true for most other activities. When women listen, both parts of the brain are engaged while men concentrate in one side at a time. In women, both sides of the brain are busy ’seeing’ while in men only the left side is active. This explains why so many times women seem confusing to men and what we say makes no sense at all. Not only do women multi-task, we also multi-think, multi-speak and we do tend to see things from many different angles.
Related Posts:
Can You Change Your Man?
Men Want to Be Heroes
Men’s Brains …
How to Talk to Men
Interesting Books On The Subject:
The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine
Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men And Women by Anne Moir and David Jessel
The New Feminine Brain: Developing Your Intuitive Genius by Mona Lisa Schulz
Brain Gender by Melissa Hines
Same Words Different Language: How Men And Women Misunderstand Each Other At Work And What To Do About It by Barbara Annis
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Staying on top of your credit history and guarding your score has gotten more important than ever as credit has dried up for most borrowers during this economic crisis. What many people don’t know is that you are entitled to an annual free credit report.
The Federal Trade Commission’s Bureau of Consumer Protection offers a free annual credit report that you can check out every 12 months: “Despite the deceiving jingles and musical claims of some TV commercials, the only authorized source to get your free annual credit report under federal law is AnnualCreditReport.com,” says Monica Goldenberg, a spokeswoman for the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection. “Other sites require users to pay hidden fees or agree to additional services in order to get a free credit report. If consumers don’t cancel the service during a short trial period, they’re likely to pay membership fees. The FTC encourages consumers not to pay for something they can get for free.”
The Fair Credit Reporting Act guarantees consumer access to a free credit report from each of the three nationwide reporting agencies—Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion—every 12 months.
In case you are wondering, know this: Checking your own credit report will not hurt your credit score.
Book on the topic:
Your Credit Score: How to Fix, Improve, and Protect the 3-Digit Number that Shapes Your Financial Future by Liz Pulliam Weston
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The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. -Paul Valery