“But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream
Dream”
R.E.M
I talked to a friend of mine the other day who had just put in one week at her new corporate job. “It feels like I am losing my freedom every day I walk in there,” she told me. After her first week she felt exhausted, uninspired and beat up. One hour in traffic every afternoon on her way home, 8 hours of working in an office without windows, lit only by fluorescent lights, and a strictly corporate dress code had worn her down. “I was ready to quit after the second day,” she said. “How can I write in an environment like that?” She had been hired as a social media and marketing expert in an industry she had no interest in.
The truth of the matter is that working at that job is not what my friend’s dream is made of. She loves to write and to be creative. She enjoys the freedom of being an entrepreneur and she is a risk taker. However, a steady job sounded so yummy and the regular money was certainly nice, not to mention so much safer.
Can you relate? Is your inner voice telling you to stick with the secure job as well? That you’ll make more money, have greater benefits, enjoy working a regular schedule, etc.? Or, are you convincing yourself that once you have saved up some money and paid down your debt, then you’ll get out?
The crux of the matter is, that most of the time we don’t save up that money. Instead, we get a more expensive apartment, buy a better car, afford nicer furniture, and the time to start living our dream starts slipping away. Because that time is right now.
See, we got it all wrong. We think that selling our soul for a short while won’t hurt and that making a small compromise isn’t that bad. What we don’t notice, however, is that we are losing not only our freedom but also our lives.
In the movie ‘Stop-Loss’, Ryan Phillippe gets sent back to Iraq on the day he was supposed to get out. By law the government has the right to make that choice and send qualified soldiers back to war - even when they have put in their time. After disobeying orders and running away, his dad tells him “Son, you are ruining your life!” To which his mother replies, “Do you think he’s better off getting killed in Iraq?”
Isn’t it true? The constant fear of ‘ruining our lives’ and not living up to the status quo has so many people all tied up trading aliveness for safety instead of taking the risk to live from freedom. It’s a choice we are making every day.
I was reminded of Michael Gerber’s new book, the E-Myth Enterprise when I was out shopping this morning and receiving the cold shoulder treatment in almost every store I visited:
Uninspiring environment = unhappy employees = bad customer service = unhappy customers (who spread the unhappiness among family and friends…)
In his book Gerber says:
“Service is an incomplete word because it says, “The customer is king!” But as it works out in real life, the customer isn’t king except in the mind of the customer.
To the employees, the customer isn’t king; he’s often a pain in the ass. To the suppliers, the customer isn’t queen; she’s often a problem waiting to happen. To the lenders, the customer isn’t king; he’s often a drunk hanging on to a wagon careening into a wall.
No, the customer isn’t king to them - they are!
“If the customer is king,” they all ask privately, deep in the hidden recesses of their longing hearts, “what about me?” That’s what everybody else is asking too: “What about me?”
There can be no such thing as effective customer service in a company where the employees are disenchanted, where the owners aren’t making a decent profit, where the suppliers aren’t getting paid on time.
How true. If we are in business for some self serving reason, if we don’t love what we do, if we don’t love our product, our customers, our employees, our team members, etc. our business can’t be successful. Our dissatisfaction will leak out into what we do, what we touch, and it will be reflected in our product, our language, and our service.
However, it is a delicate balance. If we love our product more than our customers, they will feel left out. If we care more about our customers than our business, it will stall. If it’s all about us, well, then, nothing will work.
Yet, most business operate from exactly that premise: ‘what’s in it for me’. Most people are going into business for some ulterior motive: Making a lot of money, building an empire, being famous, successful, etc. It’s a paradox because of course you want to make money, be successful, build an empire. Why not? However, it’s what happens from you loving what you do. Not the other way around.
See, business is not just something you do to make money, or you go into because you are following your calling. You can’t separate business from life, it is your life!
To say it in Michael Gerber’s words:
“To most people, business is what goes on around us while we get on with our lives, something being done “out there” - at most a commercial enterprise, a place to make money, a place to go to work, a place to buy things, or a place that makes things we buy. Few people seem to understand that business is much more than these individual factors.
In a free market system, business isn’t what goes on around us while we get on with our lives. Business is our lives. Business is what we do, all we do, who we are. Business is a living thing.”
Halfway through the day today I noticed that it wasn’t going to be a good one. In part this was due to me (who else) and sloppy planning (also referred to as ‘going with the flow’).
I had a long list of things I wanted to work on and somehow I could not get to them. The first distraction came when my 10-year old daughter called me on my promise to work with her on Math. She is skipping a grade this school year and so I gave in. Due to my eagerness (not hers), it took much longer than expected. Let’s say, I really got into it and was surprised to find out how much fun Math can be.
Next, my other daughter called from Europe where she is spending her summer. I had not talked to her in several weeks so this (unexpected) phone call took another big chunk of time out of my day. After that a Mourning Dove baby had fallen out of the nest and needed to be rescued … and on it went.
By the time I finally got around to my business I had not only lost a lot of juice and focus, I had also built up quite a bit of pressure (I had so much to do!). I started by checking a few things off my to do list, stuff that always makes me feel better, and got to work. But, no matter what I started, I ran into problems. I tried to fix things here and there and finally gave up.
I realized that I had to take the pressure off or it would just get worse. Energy first is my motto … I also knew that I had to get some things done to feel better. Most of all, I had to let go of my expectation of being so effective, productive, in control, …
So, I relaxed, made myself a nice hot cup of tea, locked my door, and started over. I knew that once I was enjoying myself again, things would go my way. And if not, tomorrow is another day.
Wishing you a joyful and productive afternoon! Curious, how do you manage working from home?
Every entrepreneur needs a coach. An ambitious athlete wouldn’t dream of going into competition without one. If you take your success (and your well-being) seriously, you’ll want the competitive edge that a skilled coach can give. Whether your business is brand-new, struggling, or thriving, you can probably get more profit and more pleasure with the help of a coach.
What is a coach? A coach is someone with whom you work on an on-going basis whose sole purpose is to support you in doing and being your best. Think of a coach as a personal trainer for your life. By helping you set goals, challenging you to take action, reviewing results, and introducing new concepts and approaches, a coach helps you to produce better results with less effort. Unlike many consultants, a coach stays with you week to week, month to month, and even year to year as you and your business grow. Your coach will become an expert on you and on what you need to be at your best. If you’re an entrepreneur, a coach will also guide you as you set up a strategic business plan, align your business goals with your personal values, eliminate distractions, and plug up profit holes.
The truth is everyone can benefit from coaching. But for the entrepreneur that support is especially crucial. Why?
1. Running a business is risky.
Every year thousands of small businesses fold. As an entrepreneur, you’ll need every advantage to make your business successful and satisfying. By bringing in an objective adviser, who stays with you as you implement new ideas and plans, you tap into a broader range of resources for creating success. A coach will bring her own background and expertise to the table, as well as her experience working with other entrepreneurs. Often, the small shifts that a coach will suggest will have a dramatic impact on how you and your business function. Or a coach may challenge you to dramatic action like doubling your profits, or delegating 50% of your work load.
2. Being an entrepreneur can be lonely.
Entrepreneurs and especially those who work solo, can suffer from a sense of isolation. Sitting at home, or in your office, you may miss the camaraderie that larger offices provide. You may lack that feeling of being part of some bigger project. Even if you work with others in your business, the burden of decision-making may fall on your shoulders alone. A coach is there as a partner and cheerleader to share in the successes and setbacks of your business. A good coach will make you feel that you are not in it all alone. Though your business decisions will continue to be yours, a coach will be there to discuss the issues and to give you new perspectives for making the call. A coach will also make sure that your work life is balanced with personal pleasures such as private time, family time, and vacations.
3. Running your own business is labor intensive.
Many entrepreneurs feel that the only way to build a successful business is to work 18 hours a day, seven days a week. Actually, it is easier to sustain the growth of your business if you take excellent care of your most precious asset, yourself. The short term benefits of a killer schedule are often not worth the long term cost of stress and burnout. In addition, you become far less attractive to potential clients and associates when you’re exhausted and overwhelmed. A coach will require that you put your well-being first, make time for friends and family, and redesign your business so that it doesn’t drain you.
4. It’s easy to lose sight of the big picture while taking care of the details.
Running your own business, your day may consist of everything from buying stamps, to making calls, to designing a brochure, to keeping your office clean. Even if you have an assistant, you are a jack-of-all-trades, rapidly changing hats to serve all the needs of the business. With so many roles to play, it’s easy to get so focused on details and lose sight of the big picture. By designing and discussing that big picture with your coach, and revisiting those objectives each week, you stay on track with the actions that most contribute to the long-term growth of your business rather than get tied up managing its day-to-day functioning.
Are these challenges that you face? If so, starting a coaching relationship can be the first step to redesigning your relationship to your work. Though some people get effective support from a partner, friend of family member, many find that a professional coach offers the right combination of objectivity, encouragement and challenge. In either case, the key to a successful coaching relationship is to have regular meetings, on an on-going basis, where you are the sole focus for at least half an hour. It’s also important that you trust your coach to be objective, to support you with your agenda, and to communicate ideas in a way that has you hear them. Any relationship that has you feel defensive, pressured to agree, or overloaded with “should’s” is not going to work.
If you want to explore coaching further, call a coach or two and schedule an introductory appointment. Most coaches are happy to do an initial consultation free of charge. Those sessions will give you a clear sense of what coaching can add to your business and allow you to experience that coach’s personal style. Speak to several. Different coaches have very different energies, philosophies, and styles. Look for someone with whom you feel a sense of connection and by whom you feel challenged. Take time to ask if the coach is herself being coached. A coach who is truly committed to the process will herself be using coaching to get the most out of her life and work. Becoming successful in your business is your ultimate goal. Isn’t it intriguing to think how much more you could achieve by having a Coach?
Isabel Parlett is a business communication expert known for helping innovative business owners put words to what moves them. You can get free resources on communicating with more passion and power at www.parlancetraining.com
What is your experience? Have you worked with a coach and how has that impacted your business or life? I’d love to hear from you on the topic. ~Karin
“But that was just a dream
